sweet_deserved (sweet_deserved) wrote in ohsam,

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Say that you'll stay

Title: Say that you'll stay
Rating: Pg-13
Warnings: Wincest
Words: ~1.629
Summary: The convercecion they have when Sam is dying...
A/N: I always start fics, but I never finish them, so I decide to write something small that had an end for a change. Hope you like it. Since my first language isn't English I'm sorry if there are some mistakes.


 Say that you'll stay

It was dark in the room, and only the light outside of the door made them see. After days, the chair Dean was setting seemed to have needles on it, but he didn't care, it didn't hurt as much as he was hurting now.

"Sammy, Sam... Don't leave me like this, you can't leave me... do you hear me? SAM..."

Sam was lying on the bed.  He didn't remember Dean being next to him when he felt a sleep in the hospital.  The thought of Dean waiting for him to wake up, broke his heart a bit. He was just now waking, and he had the feeling he had been a sleep for a long time. The thing was he still felt tired.


He asked still trying to see his brother in the dark room, that seemed blue some how

" Keep it together Sammy"

Dean was grabbing his hand like he needed to make sure that Sam didn't go away.

"I'm... Sorry"

Yeah, he was sorry, sorry for making his brother worried, sorry for being here in this bed, and most of all he was sorry for leaving his brother in just a way.

"Don't be"

Dean said in a whisper, taking Sam's bangs in front of his eyes with his free hand

"Dean, it's time"

His voice didn't sound that good, like he had been screaming for days. Dean eyes widen, with feared  along with outrage and anger. The thing was, both of them knew. They had said If Sam woke up, if he did wake up, the next time he fell asleep it would be his last.

That was why there was no one in the room except Dean. They couldn't do anything anymore to save him. And besides right now Sam was feeling sleepy

Sam was looking at the ceiling, but he heard the chair fall and he felt his brother standing from the chair

 "Don't you even dare. I forbid  you to die. You won't die, not now, not ever."

It sounded like an order, but anyone could hear the desperate tone that Dean was trying not to show. He grabbed Dean's hand that was still one his, and looked directly at him. His eyes looked moist, and Sam could see him fighting not to let tears fall.

He wasn't going to play strong like Dean, he really didn't see the reason for it. He was crying, and the only thought he was having was that he didn't want to go, that Dean was hurting and it was all his fault

"Before I..."

He was quickly interrupted by his brother.

"I won't hear it Sam. I just can't"

Dean looked away and stared at the door,  he ran his free hand in his face, like he was trying to compose himself. This couldn't be happening. He would not let Sam go.

"I... Damn it, I just love you so much Dean"

Sam said closing his eyes with more force than he needed to. He once had sworn to himself that dean would never find out his feelings, and yet here he was.

How stupid could he be?  He had to stay awake, just for a little while longer, he had to.

Dean sat in the bed next to Sam and said almost like a whisper

 "I know"

Sam felt Dean's hand cleaning away his tears. He knew Dean hadn't understood him.

"No you don't"

He said opening his eyes to see Dean. He was caught be surprised when he saw tears running down Dean's cheek. Right there he couldn't take it anymore, his heart was breaking, he was dying, and Dean did not know how much he meant to him.

 "I can't believe how I lost so much time trying to run away. But it doesn't matter anymore. I just don't see the reason...I can't die... pretending not to love you like I do..."

Sam said resting his hand in Dean's cheek, not cleaning his tears like Dean had done to him seconds ago, but just letting his hand there, giving the only comfort Sam could. Making sure Dean understood.

 "You are the best thing that happened in my life, and I don't regret for one minute to have these feelings for you. I just wish I had fought for your love."

Sam knew Dean had got it. Dean was with his eyes wide open and his lips were parted. There was a second of silence before Dean said

 "You can't do this to me Sam... This is not fair"

Dean was crying, more than Sam had ever seen him cry.

"Dean, I'm not strong enough. I never was... And I... I'm afraid to die Dean"

He wanted to be strong for Dean, show him everything was going to be ok... But he was scared more than anything. He always thought when his time came he would embrace

It. But now he was scared shitless.

He would not wake up next time, he wouldn't be able to think ' I'm death' he just simply would stop thinking, he would become dust and everything he knew and known was going to be forgotten, he would not remember Dean... And Dean, Dean was going to be left alone... He was dying but Dean was going to suffer more than him... Where was he going to? Haven? No, Hell? Most likely. Would he become a demon there?

"So, don't"  Dean said interrupting his thoughts "Don't die...Please don't"

Dean rested his free hand on Sam chest trying to control himself, trying not to sub in front of Sam.

"How can I go one without you?"

Sam ran his hand in Dean Hair in a small motion. Sam was hurting, not physical, and yet it hurt ten times more than to get shot. If he was feeling like this, how was Dean feeling?

"Stop trying to save the world and search for your own happiness... search for your love in life"

Sam said trying to smile a little, it just didn't look right with tears yet in his eyes. Dean grabbed Sam's shirt, with his head still in his chest.

"I already found it and it's slipping through my fingers... So tell me Sammy, how do you live a life when all your reason he's gone?"

Sam stared at the ceiling like it was to blame for everything. Dean was more than broken and it was all his fault.  Dean has been always the stronger one... He always had his walls up, not letting anyone see his weakness... And here he was, showing them to Sam, and when he realize he no longer had his walls and Sam was no longer in this world what was Dean going to do?  

Sam was trying to know how could he help his brother, what could he say, when the ceiling started to turn dark. He started to breathe a little harder, he could not panic.


It has escaped from Sam's lips before he realized. He was blind.

Dean left Sam's chest and looked at him with worry.

"Sam? SAMMY? What's happening?" He asked horrified

"I... I can't no longer see you"

Sam said wail trying to look where he thought his brother was

 "I'm right here"

Dean said putting his forehead against Sam's own. Sam tried to find Dean's neck, when he found it he let his hand stay there, with a little force making sure Dean Would not back away, not leave.

"I will never... I will never see you again?"

He sounded like a child

 "Sammy, there are still things I want to show you. Things I want to tell you..."

It had only passed seconds and Sam already missed seeing Dean

"I will no longer be able to see it Dean... But tell me, tell me know what you want to say Dean"

 It took him be surprised when he felt Dean's lips on his. They were warm and tested like Dean, Sam parted his lips to let Dean enter. It was slow and gentle, it was everything and more than Sam had dreamt about. It felt like home, he didn't want to ever let go, he felt like he belong there. Dean broke the kiss with the same gently he had started.

"I want to give you more, I want to be able to kiss you like this for eternity."

Dean opened the eyes he didn't know he closed. Sam on the other hand, didn't open is, he didn't want to open them to only see darkness, he stays with them close wail leasing the voice he loved the most, Dean's voice.

 "Sam, you're my brother, my best friend. You are the only man... The only person I ever wanted, the only one I love more than anything. You were the person I wished to wake up next to... I love you Sammy more than I should... And it's not fair. I want to go back and say this to you before any of this."

"So please, please wake up"

Dean knew Sam more than anyone, he knew when his brother was awake or when he was asleep and right now he wasn't doing neither of them


He shouted

"Selfish bastard, you are leaving me again? You say what you want and go? You didn't even hear me did you? I said I LOVE YOU...So, Wake up, wake up and prove to me That you felt the same. Shit Sam"

Quickly the despair overcome the anger. And he said in a voice he no longer recognize

"Don't go. You need to breathe, you need to stop sleeping... I need you."

The End

Tags: death

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